'Don't Be So Sensitive!' and Other Ways You're Killing 10x Employee Productivity
Originally posted on LinkedIn December 18, 2024
#neurodiversity time!
As part of my job postmortem, I've been exploring the way I see and perceive the world and the way others perceive me. I was researching my strong sense of justice (typically associated with autism) and why things bother me more than other people. This is when the concept of highly sensitive high performers came up (spoiler alert: it's me!).
For my ADHDers: Skip to the bottom for a tl;dr with actionable steps
First defined by Elaine Aron in 1991 (hsperson.com - a FANTASTIC resource), and also called ‘sensitive strivers’, research shows that somewhere between 15 and 20% of people are highly sensitive people (HSPs), which means they are aware of, process, and are more easily overwhelmed by stimuli. This may sound familiar to my fellow autistic peeps, but its important to note here that not all HSPs are autistic and while most are, not all autistic people are HSPs.
Highly sensitive people process things more thoughtfully, empathetically, and deeply than most people. This isn’t just theory, their brains show significantly more activity in areas related to attention to detail and action planning. Perceiving more of what's going on around them means that HSPs tend to be more conscientious and considerate, with a deeper sense of integrity and responsibility. In addition to more detailed external perception, HSPs also have a higher level of creativity and a much more robust inner world than others.
These traits often lead HSPs to success in the workplace, creating highly sensitive high performers (HSHPs). Also called sensitive strivers, HSHPs are often more insightful and adept problem solvers, noticing and connecting dots others don't. Enhanced empathy means they're also more talented and adaptable communicators and people managers, and a high sense of ownership and feeling of responsibility means they're usually dedicated to completing tasks at the absolute highest level of quality.
The downside?
Highly sensitive high performers will often suppress their emotions to conceal their sensitivity if they don’t feel safe, which causes additional cascading problems long-term, such as depression, anxiety, and outbursts. HSHPs are also the most susceptible to overworking themselves, they will often ignore their own health and wellbeing if they are focused on a high stakes task or project. When this happens, it can lead to burnout and issues with quality.
HSHPs also have a much harder time tolerating toxic or dysfunctional workplaces or teams. They identify, feel, and internalize these issues to a higher magnitude than their co-workers. This often means that while their co-workers can ignore or tolerate issues, they quickly become overwhelming for HSHPs. That’s not to say that HSHPs can’t handle conflict, but they are much quicker to differentiate between productive disagreement and unproductive friction. Their deep sense of responsibility and ownership may mean they are compelled to try to solve problems quickly and directly. HSHPs are often direct in their communication, foregoing politeness in an effort to reach resolution. They may also take issues directly to owners, bypassing internal hierarchy and potentially ruffling feathers.
What does “Glossing” have to do with HSHPs?
Over the last few months, the term “glossing” has been invading my newsfeed. Also called toxic positivity, companies are guilty of glossing when they fail to address real issues or communicate challenges, instead relying on a steady stream of positive news and affirmations to cover up issues. For some employees, this tactic works is enough to keep them motivated, but for HSHPs, glossing is clear as day and can lead to a downward spiral.
So… what’s the point?
Your most impactful, creative, and successful employees are also the people who are the most likely to be early casualties of a toxic culture or bad management practices run amok, which may be counterintuitive for some. Over the course of my career, I’ve had many managers and executives insinuate or directly state that my level of performance should make me tough enough to handle issues, or that my success should somehow preclude me from wanting things to be better for everyone at a company.
Its probably worth a note that mental toughness, in itself, is a somewhat toxic concept. Studies have shown that focusing on resilience and your ability to recover from challenges is more effective than focusing on toughness.
Highly sensitive employees, however, can also be a crucial source of critical truths and abstract root cause analysis. HSHPs care deeply and want to improve things, so they are often willing to be the person in the room who speaks up and has difficult conversations. I’ll save pontification on how no one tells CEOs the truth for another post, but the larger/more successful your company gets, the more important it is to ensure your most connected employees have a safe space to tell the truth.
How can employers and managers support HSHPs?
Much like the recognition and destigmatization of neurodiversity, better supporting highly sensitive people requires a cultural shift, which often also necessitates difficult conversations. Many books on career success, management, and leadership emphasize the importance of not allowing emotions to get in the way of decision making, without articulating the benefits of sensitivity. A stoic, masculine representation of success in business seems to be the expected norm.
These cultural biases are often multi-layered for already underrepresented people in the workplace. As a woman, I’ve often had my emotions cited as a way to dismiss valid feedback and concerns I’ve expressed. When managers and supervisors (including other women) did things that were inappropriate or disrespectful, it was characterized as “hurting my feelings.” Many women I’ve spoken with commiserated about similar experiences - and ultimately having been right and watched the negative consequences of their dismissed feedback.
All is not lost, however. Companies can begin to shift cultural norms and company support in a number of ways, including recognizing that sensitivity is a core trait rather than a flaw or emotional regulation issue, creating supportive structures that acknowledge the full range of human neurodiversity, and spotlighting how sensitive people have shaped the world. Some additional things to consider are listed below:
1. Open and Transparent Communication:
• Set Clear Expectations: Provide HSHPs with clear, direct communication regarding job responsibilities, company changes, and growth opportunities. Minimizing ambiguity helps reduce anxiety and keeps them engaged and prevent anxiety.
• Two-Way Feedback Loops: Create forums—regular one-on-ones, town halls, or anonymous feedback channels—where HSHPs can voice concerns, share their insights, and suggest improvements without fear of reprisal.
2. Psychological Safety and Boundaries:
• Encourage Reasonable Workloads and Breaks: Support HSHPs by recognizing that periodic downtime is not only acceptable but beneficial. This can include flexible scheduling, quiet rooms, and permission to take mental health days.
• Validate Emotional Responses: Leaders and colleagues can normalize the idea that varying emotional responses are part of human diversity. Cultivating a culture that respects emotion as data, rather than weakness, helps HSHPs thrive.
3. Training and Awareness for Managers and Teams:
• Manager Training: Equip managers with the tools to identify HSHP traits and support their unique needs. This can involve learning how to recognize signs of overwhelm, sensitively offer help, and encourage open discussions about workloads and challenges.
• Team Education: Host workshops or share resources that explain what sensitivity is, what it is not, and how HSHPs’ unique perspectives can improve team performance. Normalizing neurodiversity and dismantling stigma benefits everyone.
4. Strengths-Based Performance Management:
• Leverage Their Insight: Assign HSHPs to roles or projects where their deep analytical skills, intuition, and creativity will shine. Encourage them to lead root cause analyses, facilitate problem-solving sessions, or mentor others in empathy-driven communication.
• Acknowledgement and Appreciation: Provide consistent recognition for their contributions, especially their behind-the-scenes work. Celebrating their strengths publicly helps reinforce that their approach is valued.
5. Access to Support Services:
• Coaching and Mentorship: Offer professional coaching, mentorship, or peer support groups where HSHPs can learn strategies for managing overstimulation, setting boundaries, and advocating for their needs. My anecdotal experience is that more of this support is needed during performance review cycles.
• Mental Health Resources: Invest in Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), on-site counseling, or stress reduction programs (like mindfulness classes or meditation apps) that cater to employees who may be more susceptible to burnout.
